Love in the Letting Go

One of the most challenging aspects of love is letting go. 

When a friend moves away, when a relative passes on. When someone you care about makes a choice that creates distance of any kind, geographical, emotional... One of the best things you can do for that person is show them love. This love shows up in how we let them go. 

When my sister moved from the area, I at first had baggage attached. It took me time to realize that I was spiting her for leaving rather than loving her in the midst of choices I had ambivalence about. I had to let go.
As I chose to let go, I began to respect her more for the choices she made, to appreciate her courage, to love her as she walks on her own journey that I have no hope of living for her. 

Letting go is a process, and it often involves what we call, "grief." We get attached to people and have to make choices about how to love them for who they are and for how they navigate life, even where that is very different from us.

When a dear friend or relative passes, love is still evident in the letting go. They didn't choose to leave us, but they are not with us as they were. Holding on to the image of them in our lives and holding on to pain is not showing love to them or love to ourselves. 

Love accepts. 
Love considers. 
Love embraces.
Love opens up and allows for change. 

Love is multifaceted, experience tells me so. Love is in the warm embrace, and also in the letting go.


Benjamin FaderComment