Face to Face
I must admit, it's my pride that made me distant /
all because I hoped that you'd be someone different.
Sometimes we an make image of other people in our minds. I apply my expectations, my needs, my desires, and I make another fulfill that role in my mind. I ask you to be someone who does x, who is x, whether or not that ask is fully verbalized or communicated. The energetic concoction of my expectations with their unawareness or difference of perspective is often a toxic one. Then I do create distance out of pride.
I turned away, 'cause I thought you were the problem / tried to forget until I hit the bottom
We ignore the massive planks in our own eyes, our own spiritual and psychological blockage, and we perceive the deficiencies as lying elsewhere. It's your fault. It's not me. Here I am, just trying to be honest, not seeing how blind my own honesty is. Not seeing how damaging (to myself and others) my expectations are. Not seeing how I have tied myself up in knots and asked someone else to save me. But we do reap what we sow, and this is a good thing. It's a beautiful thing. If I'm open to finally see where I am and what I have sown, I will be shown the way out and the way through and the way forward and the way to... who I am and how I can be.
Fear will always make you blind... but when I faced you...
I realized you weren't wrong, was a mere illusion
The recognition of my blindness, my blinders, my stories, my attachments, these afford me a new perspective. I see how blind I have been, and I regain (some) sight. I was living in illusion, I was living in a lie. My Chitta was so loud, and I didn't know how to quiet my mind. So I continued living with the only information I could hear, the swirling illusion of my brain, and so I deceived myself. I was confused when confronted with a reality that involved others I had hurt because I was so blinded by my own fear and my own feelings. But when I faced you, I saw you were right. You were right. And I had so much to learn. Yet it gets better:
It really didn't make sense / Just to leave this unresolved
It's not hard to go the distance / When you finally get involved face to face
The end game wasn't distance, wasn't dissonance, wasn't bitterness, wasn't frustration, wasn't and isn't. The end game is love, is connection. Is recognition. Is going the distance. What an opportunity.
It's easy to keep ourselves at a distance from others. Our screens afford us the ability to hide while remaining "connected." Our words can say one thing while our actions say another. Unless and until we are truly confronted by the presence of another, it can be easier to remain in the illusion of our images and the ignorance that surrounds it. While being face to face can still afford us opportunities to deceive ourselves and others, it can also invite a deeper openness and a greater awareness to be. To be with. To be for. To be present to whom is in our midst. To see ourselves in the reflection of another and another's feelings, struggle, story, and beauty within ourselves. To see difference. To be encountered. To be simultaneously centered in ourselves and dislocated from our stories that afford us a certain comfort. This is the magic of face-to-face. This is the possibility of authentic connection. This is the beauty of human relationships.
Thanks for musing with me on some Daft Punk lyrics this morning. Thank you for reading. Thank you for choosing to be authentic, with yourself and with others. Thank you for being the presence (and having the aspiration of being the presence) of divine love to those in your midst today. Thank you for choosing peacemaking over the building of walls. Thank you for risking hurt for the sake of transformation. Thank you for opening up yourself and the hurts that you have had for the sake of our collective liberation. Thank you for being a healer, even if you're a wounded one. Thank you for seeking the welfare of others. Thank you for being, living, and loving...
Face to face.